Testimonials: preparing for childbirth
Before I got pregnant, I was afraid of how I would handle pregnancy physically, how my body would react to giving birth. During pregnancy this fear disappeared completely, and the awareness that the nature took care of everything grew day by day, and even all these medical check-ups became tiring and meaningless. After the initial concern about the development and growth of the child I couldn’t see, there was a growing confidence that the child was all right. But although I had confidence in my body, and believed that my body knew how to give birth I was scared, because of my acquaintances’ stories and experiences, that some of hospital staff will intervene against my will and wishes.
Since I am deeply convinced that our thoughts create our reality, I have decided to try hypnosis. And that’s how Petra came into picture. In our first conversation she helped me realize that a feeling of abandonment was the story of my childhood, but it also repeated itself later in life. The so-called form. At our first meeting, we dug out all the things I was concerned about and about giving birth, my wishes and the needs at the moment...
After that appointment, we met three more times, we have gone through all the details in my life that could resurface from the unconscious at such a delicate moment and affect the childbirth negatively. Among other things, at one treatment we talked about my birth. I think that moment was crucial for me to release the negativity and fear of childbirth. My mother always described my birth as a difficult and negative experience during which she felt bad and very scared. During the treatment, I felt as if my ears were on fire, heat was crawling up my spine and neck to my ears. At the same time I was crying and swallowing tears, like a huge cart full of stale energy got loose: anger and helplessness together. The most important thing for me was to be surrounded by people who support me, to give birth quickly and without complications... and to spend first moments with my baby in a pleasant atmosphere...
The childbirth went perfectly well. My body was doing everything that had to be done, the birth was completely natural, the pain wasn’t even pain, I would describe it more as discomfort, as a necessary transformation; as a transition from one state to another... I felt deep gratitude for the whole course of events, gratitude for the people who were around me, and those who supported me from a distance. I was happy and excited.
Once again I was convinced that our thoughts and our attitude towards life create our reality. I am immensely grateful for the years of yoga that taught me to breathe consciously, the wonderful staff at the Holy Spirit Hospital and Petra who helped me through our encounters to overcome those unconscious currents of our sub consciousness that can trick us in some key moments of life. This time we beat them: Katja and I together.
I'm 30 week pregnant. While planning for the pregnancy I already had an overwhelming, paralyzing fear of childbirth pain. Interventions, such as epidural anesthesia, did not comfort me, because the thought of needles in my spine was equally awful. Actually, a cesarean section under general anesthesia seemed like an only bearable option. This wasn’t an option of course, even if it were possible, because of all of its implications. As soon as I found out that I was pregnant I knew that I had to get help right away and prepare myself for the birth or I was going to be in fear and stressed, and I knew that it was leading to spasmodic labor and a body that doesn’t cooperate during childbirth. First, I got some literature from which I found out about doulas, and then, by chance (or by God's providence), I came in contact with Petra when I was about 20 week pregnant. I expected the doula to be the only one person with me in childbirth because I wanted to avoid any negative emotions in the delivery room (husband’s pity or fear, mother’s "grit your teeth we‘ve all been through it" and so on). I wanted someone experienced and neutral to tell me to relax if my body, my hands, my face or throat tensed, someone to help me focus on breathing, find the ideal position for going through contractions and to massage me with essential oils. Something like a coach at an important tournament. However, I got much more than I expected. In the first few appointments, Petra helped me to face my fears, dug up the buried causes from childhood, helped me strengthen my self-confidence and faith in the wisdom of the body, and helped me to release the belief that I must or can control the course of birth or my body reactions. I learned to accept every possible outcome, but at the same time I visualized the childbirth I wanted, empowering and natural, without interventions and not the one that "is forgotten once the baby is here." I don’t want a trauma I need to forget. I want an experience that will transform and empower me, whatever that is. Now I enjoy my pregnancy and despite the feeling of awe towards the process of childbirth, I am no longer dominated by fear. I continued with prenatal yoga with Petra, which, besides the obvious physical benefits of building up strength and flexibility (even with a quite big belly I managed to get my toe nails done by myself :-)), also made a progress emotionally. I learnt to be in myself. I learnt to breathe, relax and be aware. I learnt to control and manage my body from the inside. In fact, I was one centimeter dilated and I had to rest. Every time I went to yoga, I visualized strongly and clearly that my uterus becomes stronger to sustain the burden of pregnancy until the end. At the checkup my doctor was surprised to see that my cervix extended so much that it somehow overlapped and closed - that was, how she said "impossible." I believe I greatly influenced this outcome with my work "from within" with Petra’s great help. Now I am looking forward to seeing what the future has in store for me and I'm going ahead with my preparations, as if I were going to the Olympics. I believe every woman should have the best possible preparation for giving birth, both physically and emotionally. Going into labor without proper preparation is, for me, like taking an exam or going to a competition without preparing. Maybe you would get lucky and everything would go great, but you will probably experience some discomfort. We live in a time when we are removed from nature and our natural processes, and it is good, at least in these blessed moments, to look into yourself and possibly correct some of the misguided beliefs, the underlying toxicity or irrational fear, all to help our little ones to be welcomed in the most beautiful way and have a fresh start.
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